“Baba Jay who buy dis Bread and Akara wey una
dey chop?” Snoop asked as we got home. “na
Brainbox oh” Baba jay responded. Man looked at
the direction of Brainbox and said, “Brainbox why
u wear my trouser na?”. “No vex i go soon pull
am” Brainbox responded.
Brainbox loved spoiling other peoples things and
saving his own, i hated him for that because he
had spoilt so many of my things when we were at
Umunkoto.
“MOG is Pkc not coming back tonight?” Snoop
asked. “Yes oh, he will be sleeping in the church
because he will be leading the early morning
prayers tommorow” MOG responded.
The first night i slept in the church, i concluded
that the mosquitoes there were “Holy
mosquitoes”. If you are an unbeliever and you
sleep in the church for a night, the next morning
you would surely give your life to Christ.
The mosquitoes can sting the living daylight off
you. The first night i slept there with Pkc and my
cousin Tochiba, i cried althrough the night. They
gave me a “per seconds billing” stinging, and the
next morning my skin was swollen. But i
wondered why Pkc still loved sleeping there, or
were the mosquitoes tired of his blood?.
“something is smelling like indian h’emp here, do
any of you smoke?” MOG inquired. “No oh, na
that Flow perfume wey all of us spray oh, the
perfume dey smell like Igboh” Man told a fat lie.
One thing i loved Man for was that you can’t just
throw him off guard, he had a response to every
question from his arsenal of lies. He should have
been called “LIEnus” instead of “Man”. “no, i am
sure somebody smoked amongst you guys, i
sense the smell once someone that just smoked
comes around me” MOG said. “but how do you
know?” Brainbox asked.
“dis Brainbox no get sense oh, see the kin
question wey him dey ask, if MOG com say him
wan smell our mouth nkor? Brainbox na because
u no dey smoke nahim make u wan cast us abi?” I
tot.
“how wont i know, don’t u know before i gave my
life to Christ, i was the number one Man of in Poly
Nekede where i schooled, i smoked more than
chimney, i was a chain smoker, so if i come across
a weed smooker i could tell by just smelling the
person’s cloth” MOG narrated. One hearing that, i
saw Snoop moved his body a bit in other for
MOG’s weed sensitive nose not to percieve the
smell of weed emanating from his cloth, Man also
did the same. But i did not move my body
because i wasn’t putting on my cloth, “abi him dey
smell person skin sef?” i asked myself.
“that person that smokes, pls change ur ways oh,
Jesus Loves u, i pray God arrest you soon, In Jesus
name” MOG prayed. “AMEN!!!” we all chorused.
Next morning, as early as 8am man woke me up.
And he told me we should start preparing for
work. I woke Brainbox also. The others were still
sleeping.
“we no go chop before we go?” Brainbox asked.
“no worry we go chop vegetable soup for Mama
Calabar place” Man responded. “who be Mama
calabar?” Brainbox asked. “when we reach there u
go see her” Man answered(his usual way of
answering such question).
Why i so much liked Mama Calabar canteen was
because the place was neat. Not only that,
because that was the canteen most kponkpon
workers ate their breakfast. “mehn! Calabar
women sabi cook oh, i must marry Calabar
woman oh” i concluded as i munched my kingsize
meat.
Mama Calabar canteen wasn’t far from our “place
of work”, so we walked down gulping our sachet
water, like the ghetto boys we were.
“e get one old man wey i want make we go see,
him name na Old solja, nahim be security man for
dis site for night, na him hand key to where dem
dey put cement dey dey, but as him no dey
around dat yesterday him give me the key day
before yesterday make i hold am, but him call me
dis morning say him don come back, so make we
go greet am because that man dey help me well
well, na him house i dey go drink water
sometimes sef, him house no far from here” Man
explained.
“Old Solja good morning” we chorused as we got
to the shanty house. “unu morning” he
responded. “unu come to work?” Old Solja asked,
“yes Sir” Man answered. “unu Madam never
come?” he asked again, “yes sir, she never come,
so we say make we come greet you na” Man
responded. “unu don try as unu come, make unu
sidon na” Old Solja said offering us seat. I
wondered why he replaced “una” with “unu”.
Infact i lost count of how many times he
mentioned the word “unu” for the five minutes
we stood in front of his house. The “unu” was
becoming a rhyme. “no Old Solja, no worry we go
soon go sef, our Madam go soon come, this na my
two friends, this one name na Flow, dis one name
na Brainbox, i come show dem to you” Man
added.
“ok unu don dey go?” Old solja asked, “we don
dey go sir” our spokesMAN responded. “únú
n’gbàmbo” Old solja mentioned the word “unu”
again but this time in Ibo.
Work started earlier that morning.
“Brainbox how come u dey three bags and i still
dey two bags na?” i inquired. “wetin u call me, no
be Brainbox? Ehnn i use my brain dey work na. U
dey use power, me i dey use brain nahim make”
Brainbox responded. “Flow come with me to carry
more bags of cement from the Cement store”
Madam Ifeoma ordered.
As i walked behind her, i continously gazed at her
Television shaped Ikebe, making my d’ick to rise.
My d’ick bulged out of my working trouser
forming a mountainous culve.
We got there, she entered the store and showed
me the bags of cement i was to carry. I carried it.
My d’ick was still as hard as a rock, it seemed she
saw my standing d’ick so she said, “what is this?”
pointing to the direction of my d’ick. “na my
Chiarman, the thing no dey respect himself, na
wetin my Papa give me, shebi u sef get wetin ur
Mama give u for ur back?” i almost said.
She wasn’t actually pointing at my d’ick, she was
pointing to a bag of cement that has torn and the
cement was pouring out. I told her i would come
back to carry that particular bag for us to make us
of its content.
I moved close to the door and Madam Ifeoma
was still standing at the door with her “big nyash”
facing me, she couldn’t even hear the “excuse me”
i was saying. “abi dis woman want make i use my
p’rick nak her nyash? My p’rick go break be that
oh” i tot. “Excuse me!” i yelled, oweing to the fact
that the cement on my head was almost breaking
my neck bone. She finally gave way.
As i finished carrying 12bags of cement from the
store to the site my neck failed me, i was walking
like a robot, “so una go dey here dey work, i go go
carry cement wey una go take work abi? Na Ojoro
oh” i almost said.
Work ended by 5pm, i mixed four bags of rice and
beans, Brainbox mixed Six, Igbakwambo and
Ochagbuoria mixed countless bags.
“oboy i dey hungry oh” I said. “i go carry una go
Soroagwa place go chop Akpu and Ofe Oha” Man
said. “who be Soroagwa na?” Brainbox inquired.
“no worry when we reach there u go see am” Man
answered(his usually way).
Man had a place to satisfy every of his urge,
ranging from; Obele place to Paapa place to
Mama Calabar place and Now to Soroagwa place,
who knows where next, maybe Heaven place?
The only thing i could tell was that Soroagwa in
Ibo means “follow this attitude”. If only time could
speak, it could have told me what lies ahead at
Soroagwa Canteen.
“Soroagwa give me Akpu and Ofe Oha, u go put
three meat oh” Man ordered as we got to
Soroagwa canteen. “wetin i go give u?” Soroagwa
was asking me. I wasn’t listening, i was busy
staring at my u’gly skin, “see me wey i be fine
yellow boy before, see as cement don spoil my
skin, wetin i go do dis my skin now” i tot.
“Bros wetin i go give u na?” Soroagwa asked again,
“ehen, give me the same thing wey u give my guy
but my own go be two meat oh” i responded.
“what of u nkor?” he asked Brainbox. “me i want
the same thing but u no go put meat” Brainbox
responded. “but Brainbox, why u no want meat
na?” Man inquired. “u no know say doctor say
make i no dey chop meat?” Brainbox responded.
“u dey lie abeg, u dey chop meat well well, u no
wan just spend ur money, how much be meat
na?” i said. “Brainbox!! Brainbox!!” i cheered.
“Brainbox enjoy ur money oh, dead body no dey
enjoy oh, na only people wey dey alive dey enjoh
oh” Man added.
Brainbox was a very stingy guy. When we were in
Umunkoto, he would tell me he had no money on
him, and that he had not eaten since morning, he
would even ask me to give him some money for
him to go eat, with the way he begged for money,
they was no way i would not have given him. After
giving him the money, the next moment i would
see him drinking beer at a bar. “abi person fit
drink beer for empty belle?”.
As we ate the food, i continued staring at the
patches of dried cement on my skin. Then,
someone came in. Kate. The adorable Kate.
“pls i want to buy Food” She said bringing out her
food flask. On seeing her, i left my mouth ajar,
with a ball of Akpu in it. She turned to our
direction and i quickly swallowed the ball of Akpu.
“hello!” she said, “hi!” i was the only one that
responded to her greeting, others were carried
away by the delicious Ofe Oha. “ehen whats that
ur name?” she asked looking at my direction. My
brain instantly failed me. I instantly caught
Amnesia. “wetin make u wan know my name na” i
almost said. “ehnnn my name is ehnnnn Just call
me Flow” I stammered. “OK Flow, what are all
these whitish things on ur body, are u well at all?”
she asked. “ehnn i am not well, i have chicken
pox” I lied. At that moment i had Brainbox and
Man giggled, “una dey mad there, na only my
body be like dis?” i cursed within. “ayah!! Get well
soon ok” Kate said and walked out.
“abeg i no dey hungry again, make we dey go
house” i said as i sat down to continue eating.
“mumu!! na because of u fall ur hand for Kate,
nahim make u no dey hungry again” Man said, “no
i don belle full” i responded. “but before we go,
we go enter Oga Benson side go buy Tea” Man
added.
“that Kate thing don pass and u still dey laf” i said
to Brainbox as we walked home. He continued
laughing. What he never knew was that a fight
was waiting for him at home.
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We All Know That This Is Not Her First Nude That She Has Leaked Out..
